Thag 6.6

Sappadāsattheragāthā

“Paṇṇavīsativassāni, yato pabbajito ahaṁ; Accharāsaṅghātamattampi, cetosantimanajjhagaṁ.

Sappadāsa

In the twenty-five years since I went forth, I have not found peace of mind, even as long as a finger-snap.

Aladdhā cittassekaggaṁ, kāmarāgena aṭṭito; Bāhā paggayha kandanto, vihārā upanikkhamiṁ.

Since I couldn’t get my mind unified, I was racked by desire for pleasures of the senses. Wailing, with outstretched arms, I left my dwelling.

Satthaṁ vā āharissāmi, Ko attho jīvitena me; Kathaṁ hi sikkhaṁ paccakkhaṁ, Kālaṁ kubbetha mādiso.

Or shall I commit suicide? What’s the point of living? For how on earth can one such as me die after resigning the training?

Tadāhaṁ khuramādāya, mañcakamhi upāvisiṁ; Parinīto khuro āsi, dhamaniṁ chettumattano.

Then I picked up a razor, I sat on a cot: the razor was ready to slice my vein.

Tato me manasīkāro, yoniso udapajjatha; Ādīnavo pāturahu, nibbidā samatiṭṭhatha.

Then the realization came upon me— the danger became clear, and I was firmly disillusioned.

Tato cittaṁ vimucci me, passa dhammasudhammataṁ; Tisso vijjā anuppattā, kataṁ buddhassa sāsanan”ti.

Then my mind was freed— behold the clear rightness of the teaching! I’ve attained the three knowledges, and fulfilled the Buddha’s instructions.