AN 7.63

Bhariyāsutta

Atha kho bhagavā pubbaṇhasamayaṁ nivāsetvā pattacīvaramādāya yena anāthapiṇḍikassa gahapatissa nivesanaṁ tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā paññatte āsane nisīdi. Tena kho pana samayena anāthapiṇḍikassa gahapatissa nivesane manussā uccāsaddā mahāsaddā honti. Atha kho anāthapiṇḍiko gahapati yena bhagavā tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā bhagavantaṁ abhivādetvā ekamantaṁ nisīdi. Ekamantaṁ nisinnaṁ kho anāthapiṇḍikaṁ gahapatiṁ bhagavā etadavoca:

Kinds of Wives

Then the Buddha robed up in the morning and, taking his bowl and robe, went to the home of the householder Anāthapiṇḍika, where he sat down on the seat spread out. Now at that time people in Anāthapiṇḍika’s home were making a colossal racket. Then the householder Anāthapiṇḍika went up to the Buddha, bowed, and sat down to one side. The Buddha said to him,

“Kiṁ nu te, gahapati, nivesane manussā uccāsaddā mahāsaddā kevaṭṭā maññe macchavilope”ti? “Ayaṁ, bhante, sujātā gharasuṇhā aḍḍhakulā ānītā. Sā neva sassuṁ ādiyati, na sasuraṁ ādiyati, na sāmikaṁ ādiyati, bhagavantampi na sakkaroti na garuṁ karoti na māneti na pūjetī”ti.

“Householder, what’s with the people making that colossal racket in your home? You’d think it was fishermen hauling in a catch!” “Sir, that’s my daughter-in-law Sujātā. She’s been brought here from a wealthy family. She doesn’t obey her mother-in-law or father-in-law or her husband. And she does not honor, respect, esteem, and venerate the Buddha.”

Atha kho bhagavā sujātaṁ gharasuṇhaṁ āmantesi: “ehi, sujāte”ti. “Evaṁ, bhante”ti kho sujātā gharasuṇhā bhagavato paṭissutvā yena bhagavā tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā bhagavantaṁ abhivādetvā ekamantaṁ nisīdi. Ekamantaṁ nisinnaṁ kho sujātaṁ gharasuṇhaṁ bhagavā etadavoca:

Then the Buddha addressed Sujātā, saying, “Come, Sujātā.” “Yes, sir,” she replied. She went up to the Buddha, bowed, and sat down to one side. The Buddha said to her:

“Satta kho imā, sujāte, purisassa bhariyāyo. Katamā satta? Vadhakasamā, corīsamā, ayyasamā, mātāsamā, bhaginīsamā, sakhīsamā, dāsīsamā. Imā kho, sujāte, satta purisassa bhariyāyo. Tāsaṁ tvaṁ katamā”ti? “Na kho ahaṁ, bhante, imassa bhagavatā saṅkhittena bhāsitassa vitthārena atthaṁ ājānāmi. Sādhu me, bhante, bhagavā tathā dhammaṁ desetu yathāhaṁ imassa bhagavatā saṅkhittena bhāsitassa vitthārena atthaṁ jāneyyan”ti. “Tena hi, sujāte, suṇāhi, sādhukaṁ manasi karohi; bhāsissāmī”ti. “Evaṁ, bhante”ti kho sujātā gharasuṇhā bhagavato paccassosi. Bhagavā etadavoca:

“Sujātā, a man can have seven kinds of wife. What seven? A wife like a killer, a wife like a thief, a wife like a lord, a wife like a mother, a wife like a sister, a wife like a comrade, and a wife like a bondservant. These are the kinds of wife that a man can have. Which one of these are you?” “Sir, I don’t understand the detailed meaning of what the Buddha has said in brief. Please teach me this matter so I can understand the detailed meaning.” “Well then, Sujātā, listen and apply your mind well, I will speak.” “Yes, sir,” she replied. The Buddha said this:

“Paduṭṭhacittā ahitānukampinī, Aññesu rattā atimaññate patiṁ; Dhanena kītassa vadhāya ussukā, Yā evarūpā purisassa bhariyā; ‘Vadhā ca bhariyā’ti ca sā pavuccati.

“With a mind full of hate and no kindness, lusting for others, looking down on her husband, she longs to murder him who paid the price for her. A man’s wife of this sort is called a wife and a killer.

Yaṁ itthiyā vindati sāmiko dhanaṁ, Sippaṁ vaṇijjañca kasiṁ adhiṭṭhahaṁ; Appampi tassa apahātumicchati, Yā evarūpā purisassa bhariyā; ‘Corī ca bhariyā’ti ca sā pavuccati.

A woman’s husband earns his wealth by focusing on a profession, trade, or farming. And even if it’s only a little, she wants to take it. A man’s wife of this sort is called a wife and a thief.

Akammakāmā alasā mahagghasā, Pharusā ca caṇḍī duruttavādinī; Uṭṭhāyakānaṁ abhibhuyya vattati, Yā evarūpā purisassa bhariyā; ‘Ayyā ca bhariyā’ti ca sā pavuccati.

She’s an idle glutton who doesn’t want to work. Her words are harsh, fierce, and rude. He works hard, but she lives as his master. A man’s wife of this sort is called a wife and a lord.

Yā sabbadā hoti hitānukampinī, Mātāva puttaṁ anurakkhate patiṁ; Tato dhanaṁ sambhatamassa rakkhati, Yā evarūpā purisassa bhariyā; ‘Mātā ca bhariyā’ti ca sā pavuccati.

She’s always caring and kind, looking after her husband like a mother her child. She keeps the wealth that he has earned secure. A man’s wife of this sort is called a wife and a mother.

Yathāpi jeṭṭhā bhaginī kaniṭṭhakā, Sagāravā hoti sakamhi sāmike; Hirīmanā bhattuvasānuvattinī, Yā evarūpā purisassa bhariyā; ‘Bhaginī ca bhariyā’ti ca sā pavuccati.

She respects her husband as a younger sister respects her elder. Conscientious, she does what her husband says. A man’s wife of this sort is called a wife and a sister.

Yācīdha disvāna patiṁ pamodati, Sakhī sakhāraṁva cirassamāgataṁ; Koleyyakā sīlavatī patibbatā, Yā evarūpā purisassa bhariyā; ‘Sakhī ca bhariyā’ti ca sā pavuccati.

She’s delighted to see him, like one reunited with a long-lost comrade. She’s of good pedigree, virtuous, and devoted. A man’s wife of this sort is called a wife and a comrade.

Akkuddhasantā vadhadaṇḍatajjitā, Aduṭṭhacittā patino titikkhati; Akkodhanā bhattuvasānuvattinī, Yā evarūpā purisassa bhariyā; ‘Dāsī ca bhariyā’ti ca sā pavuccati.

She has no anger when threatened with violence by the rod. Without hate or anger, she endures her husband and does what he says. A man’s wife of this sort is called a wife and a bondservant.

Yācīdha bhariyā vadhakāti vuccati, ‘Corī ca ayyā’ti ca yā pavuccati; Dussīlarūpā pharusā anādarā, Kāyassa bhedā nirayaṁ vajanti tā.

The kinds of wives here called killer, thief, and lord; immoral, harsh, and lacking regard for others, when their body breaks up they set course for hell.

Yācīdha mātā bhaginī sakhīti ca, ‘Dāsī ca bhariyā’ti ca sā pavuccati; Sīle ṭhitattā cirarattasaṁvutā, Kāyassa bhedā sugatiṁ vajanti tāti.

But the kinds of wives here called mother, sister, comrade, and bondservant; steadfast in their own morality, restrained for a long time, when their body breaks up they set course for a good place.

Imā kho, sujāte, satta purisassa bhariyāyo. Tāsaṁ tvaṁ katamā”ti? “Ajjatagge maṁ, bhante, bhagavā dāsīsamaṁ sāmikassa bhariyaṁ dhāretū”ti.

Sujātā, these are the seven kinds of wife that a man can have. Which one of these are you?” “Sir, from this day forth may the Buddha remember me as a wife like a bondservant.”