Kohelet Rabbah 7.2

טוֹב לָלֶכֶת אֶל בֵּית אֵבֶל מִלֶּכֶת אֶל בֵּית מִשְׁתֶּה, לָמָּה שֶׁלֵּב חֲכָמִים בְּבֵית אֵבֶל, שֶׁכָּל מִי שֶׁמִּתְאַבֵּל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מְשַׂמְּחוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה כט, יט): וְיָסְפוּ עֲנָוִים בַּה' שִׂמְחָה. דָּבָר אַחֵר, טוֹב לָלֶכֶת אֶל בֵּית אֵבֶל מִלֶּכֶת אֶל בֵּית מִשְׁתֶּה, מוּטָב לָלֶכֶת לְמִדָּה שֶׁיֵּשׁ לָהּ פֵּרָעוֹן, מִמִּדָּה שֶׁאֵין לָהּ פֵּרָעוֹן. מוּטָב לֵילֵךְ בְּמִדָּה נוֹהֶגֶת בַּחַיִּים וּבַמֵּתִים, מִמִּדָּה שֶׁאֵינָה נוֹהֶגֶת אֶלָּא בַּחַיִּים. מוּטָב לֵילֵךְ בְּמִדָּה נוֹהֶגֶת בָּעֲשִׁירִים וּבָעֲנִיִּים, מִמִּדָּה שֶׁאֵינָה נוֹהֶגֶת אֶלָּא בָּעֲשִׁירִים. מוּטָב לֵילֵךְ בְּמִדָּה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהּ פִּיּוּס, מִמִּדָּה שֶׁאֵין בָּהּ פִּיּוּס.

“It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting; for that is the end of all men, and the living will take it to heart” (Ecclesiastes 7:2). “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting.” Why? It is because “the heart of the wise is in a house of mourning” (Ecclesiastes 7:4), as anyone who mourns, the Holy One blessed be He brings him joy, as it is stated: “The humble will increase their joy in the Lord” (Isaiah 29:19). Another matter, “it is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting” – it is better to adopt a mode of conduct for which there is a recompense, than a mode of conduct for which there is no recompense. It is better to adopt a mode of conduct that serves the living and the dead, than a mode of conduct that serves only the living. It is better to adopt a mode of conduct that serves both the wealthy and the poor, than a mode of conduct that serves only the wealthy. It is better to adopt a mode of conduct that involves consolation, than a mode of conduct that does not involve consolation.

אָמַר רַבִּי בֶּרֶכְיָה גְּמִילוּת חֶסֶד בַּתּוֹרָה, בְּרֹאשָׁהּ, וּבְאֶמְצָעִיתָהּ, וּבְסוֹפָהּ. בְּרֹאשָׁהּ, דִּכְתִיב (בראשית ב, כב): וַיִּבֶן ה' אֱלֹהִים אֶת הַצֵּלָע, מְלַמֵּד שֶׁקִּלְעָה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְחַוָּה וֶהֱבִיאָהּ אֶל הָאָדָם וְנַעֲשָׂה שׁוֹשְׁבִין לָהֶם, שֶׁכֵּן בִּכְרַכֵּי הַיָּם קוֹרִין לְקַלְעִיתָא בָּנְיָאתָא. וּבְאֶמְצָעִיתָהּ, דִּכְתִיב (בראשית יח, א): וַיֵּרָא אֵלָיו ה' בְּאֵלֹנֵי מַמְרֵא, מְלַמֵּד שֶׁבִּקְּרוֹ (בראשית כה, יא): וַיְבָרֶךְ אֱלֹהִים אֶת יִצְחָק בְּנוֹ, זוֹ בִּרְכַּת אֲבֵלִים. בְּסוֹפָהּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים לד, ו): וַיִּקְבֹּר אֹתוֹ בַגַּי. אָמַר רַבִּי חָנִין מִדַּת פֵּרָעוֹן מָה הִיא, יַעֲקֹב מֵת בְּאֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם, מִי רָאוּי לְהִטָּפֵל בּוֹ, לֹא הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא שֶׁאָמַר לוֹ (בראשית מו, ד): אָנֹכִי אֵרֵד עִמְךָ מִצְרַיְמָה וגו', בָּא יוֹסֵף וְחָטַף לוֹ אֶת הַמִּצְוָה, דִּכְתִיב (בראשית נ, ז): וַיַּעַל יוֹסֵף לִקְבֹּר אֶת אָבִיו. מֵת יוֹסֵף בְּמִצְרַיִם מִי רָאוּי לְהִטָּפֵל בּוֹ לֹא הַשְּׁבָטִים שֶׁהִשְׁבִּיעַ אוֹתָם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (בראשית נ, כה): וַיַּשְׁבַּע יוֹסֵף, בָּא משֶׁה וְחָטַף לוֹ אֶת הַמִּצְוָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמות יג, יט): וַיִּקַּח משֶׁה אֶת עַצְמוֹת יוֹסֵף. מֵת משֶׁה וּפָרַע לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא בִּכְבוֹדוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים לד, ו): וַיִקְבֹּר אוֹתוֹ בַגַּי.

Rabbi Berekhya said: Performing acts of kindness is in the Torah at its beginning, in its middle, and at its end. It is at its beginning, as it is written: “The Lord God built the rib [that he took from the man, into a woman, and He brought her to the man]” (Genesis 2:22). [This verse] teaches that the Holy One Blessed be He braided Eve’s hair, and brought her to Adam, and he became the groomsman for them; as in the coastal towns, they call braiding, building. It is in its middle, as it is written: “The Lord appeared to him in the plains of Mamre” (Genesis 18:1), teaching that He visited him. “God blessed Isaac his son” (Genesis 25:11), this is the blessing of the mourners. At its end, as it is stated: “He buried him in the valley” (Deuteronomy 34:6). Rabbi Ḥanin said: What is the measure of recompense [for acts of kindness]? Jacob died in the land of Egypt. For whom was it fitting to tend to him? Is it not the Holy One blessed be He, who said to him: “I will descend with you to Egypt [and I will also take you up]” (Genesis 46:4)? Joseph came and snatched the mitzva for himself, as it is written: “Joseph ascended to bury his father” (Genesis 50:7). Joseph died in Egypt. For whom was it fitting to tend to him? Is it not the tribes, to whom he administered an oath, as it is stated: “Joseph administered an oath [to the sons of Israel, saying: God will surely remember you, and you shall carry up my bones from here]” (Genesis 50:25). Moses came and snatched the mitzva for himself, as it is stated: “Moses took Joseph’s bones” (Exodus 13:19). Moses died, and the Holy One blessed be He, in His glory, repaid him, as it is stated: “He buried him in the valley” (Deuteronomy 34:6).

כְּתִיב (בראשית ג, כא): וַיַּעַשׂ ה' אֱלֹהִים לְאָדָם וּלְאִשְׁתּוֹ כָּתְנוֹת עוֹר וַיַּלְבִּשֵׁם, מָצִינוּ שֶׁהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא גּוֹמֵל חֲסָדִים, מְקַשֵּׁט כַּלּוֹת, מְבָרֵךְ חֲתָנִים, מְבַקֵּר חוֹלִים, וְקוֹבֵר מֵתִים, מְנַחֵם אֲבֵלִים. מְקַשֵּׁט כַּלּוֹת דִּכְתִיב (בראשית ב, כב): וַיִּבֶן ה' אֱלֹהִים, רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אָמַר בְּנָאָהּ וְקִשְׁטָהּ וְהֶרְאָהּ לוֹ. אָמַר רַבִּי אַבָּהוּ שֶׁמָּא תֹאמַר מִתּוֹךְ חָרוּב אֶחָד אוֹ מִתּוֹךְ שִׁקְמָה אַחַת הֶרְאָהּ לוֹ, אֶלָּא מֵאַחַר שֶׁקִּשְׁטָהּ בְּעֶשְׂרִים וְאַרְבָּעָה מִינֵי תַּכְשִׁיטִין, אַחַר כָּךְ הֶרְאָהּ לוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (בראשית ב, כב): וַיְבִאֶהָ אֶל הָאָדָם. מְבָרֵךְ חֲתָנִים, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (בראשית א, כח): וַיְבָרֶךְ אֹתָם אֱלֹהִים. מְבַקֵּר חוֹלִים, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (בראשית יח, א): וַיֵּרָא אֵלָיו ה' בְּאֵלֹנֵי מַמְרֵא. קוֹבֵר מֵתִים, דִּכְתִיב (דברים לד, ו): וַיִּקְבֹּר אֹתוֹ בַגַּי. מְנַחֵם אֲבֵלִים, דִּכְתִיב (בראשית לה, ח): וַיִּקְרָא שְׁמוֹ אַלּוֹן בָּכוּת. אָמַר רַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר נַחְמָן מַהוּ אַלּוֹן בָּכוּת, עַד שֶׁמְשַׁמֵּר אֶבְלָהּ שֶׁל דְּבוֹרָה מֵנִיקְתּוֹ בָּאתָה לוֹ שְׁמוּעַת רִבְקָה אִמּוֹ וּבָכָה שְׁתֵּי בְכִיּוֹת, לְכָךְ נֶאֱמַר אַלּוֹן בָּכוּת. וְיַעֲקֹב הוּא אוֹמֵר (בראשית לה, ט): וַיְבָרֶךְ, בִּרְכַּת אֲבֵלִים בֵּרְכוֹ.

It is written: “The Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin, and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21). We have found that the Holy One blessed be He performs acts of kindness: He adorns brides, blesses grooms, visits the ill, buries the dead, and comforts the mourners. He adorns brides, as it is written: “The Lord God built [the rib that he took from the man into a woman, and He brought her to the man]” (Genesis 2:22). Rabbi Yoḥanan says: He built her, adorned her, and showed her to him [Adam]. Rabbi Abbahu said: Perhaps you will say that He showed her to him from behind a carob tree or from behind a sycamore tree; rather, He adorned her with twenty-four types of jewelry and then He showed her to him, as it is stated: “And He brought her to the man” (Genesis 2:22). He blesses grooms, as it is stated: “God blessed them” (Genesis 1:28). He visits the ill, as it is stated: “The Lord appeared to him in the plains of Mamre” (Genesis 18:1). He buries the dead, as it is written: “He buried him in the valley” (Deuteronomy 34:6). He comforts the mourners, as it is written: “He called its name Alon Bakhut” (Genesis 35:8). Rabbi Shmuel bar Naḥman said: What is Alon Bakhut? While he was observing the mourning for Deborah, his nursemaid, tidings reached him that his mother Rebecca had died, and he wept two weepings [bekhiyot]; that is why it is stated [that Jacob called that place] Alon Bakhut. And [the verse] states regarding Jacob: “[And God appeared to Jacob again…] and blessed [him]” (Genesis 35:9) – He blessed him with the blessing of the mourners.

אָמַר רַבִּי סִימוֹן מָצִינוּ שֶׁהָלְכוּ לְבֵית הַמִּשְׁתֶּה וְלֹא נִתְפָּרְשׁוּ שְׁמוֹתָן, לְבֵית הָאֵבֶל וְנִתְפָּרְשׁוּ שְׁמוֹתָן, עוֹג הָלַךְ בְּמִשְׁתֵּה אַבְרָהָם וְלֹא נִתְפָּרֵשׁ שְׁמוֹ, שְׁלשֶׁת רֵעֵי אִיוֹב הָלְכוּ לְבֵית הָאֵבֶל וְנִתְפָּרְשׁוּ שְׁמוֹתָן. מָצִינוּ שֶׁהָלְכוּ לְבֵית הַמִּשְׁתֶּה וְלֹא נִדְחוּ מִגֵּיהִנֹּם, וְהָלְכוּ לְבֵית הָאֵבֶל וְנִדְּחוּ מִגֵּיהִנֹּם, עוֹג הָיָה בְּמִשְׁתֵּה אַבְרָהָם וְלֹא נִדְחֶה מִגֵּיהִנֹּם, וְאֵלּוּ שֶׁהָלְכוּ לְבֵית הָאֵבֶל נִדְחוּ מִגֵּיהִנֹּם. אָמַר רַבִּי יִשָֹּׂשכָר דִּכְפַר מַנְדִּי דַּרְכָּן שֶׁל רְשָׁעִים לְהִנָּתֵן בִּדְיוֹטָא תַּחְתּוֹנָה שֶׁל גֵּיהִנֹּם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (איוב לד, כו): תַּחַת רְשָׁעִים סְפָקָם. שְׁלשֶׁת רֵעֵי אִיּוֹב הָלְכוּ לְבֵית הָאֵבֶל וְנִדְחוּ מִגֵּיהִנֹּם, דִּכְתִיב (איוב ב, יא): וַיָּבֹא אִישׁ מִמְּקֹמוֹ, אִישׁ מִבֵּיתוֹ, אִישׁ מֵעִירוֹ, אִישׁ מֵאַרְצוֹ, אֵין כְּתִיב כָּאן, אֶלָּא אִישׁ מִמְּקוֹמוֹ, מִמְּקוֹם שֶׁנִּתְבַּצֵּר לָהֶם בַּגֵּיהִנֹּם נִדְחוּ וְנִצּוֹלוּ מִמֶּנּוּ. מָצִינוּ שֶׁהָלְכוּ לְבֵית הַמִּשְׁתֶּה וְלֹא שָׁרַת עֲלֵיהֶם רוּחַ הַקֹּדֶשׁ, זֶה עוֹג, וּשְׁלשֶׁת רֵעֵי אִיּוֹב הָלְכוּ לְבֵית הָאֵבֶל וְשָׁרַת עֲלֵיהֶם רוּחַ הַקֹּדֶשׁ, הֲדָא הוּא דִכְתִיב (איוב ד, א): וַיַּעַן אֱלִיפַז (איוב ח, א): וַיַּעַן בִּלְדַד. תָּנֵי בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי מֵאִיר כָּל מָקוֹם שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר עֲנִיָּה וַאֲמִירָה, כֹּה כָּכָה, אֵלּוּ בְּלָשׁוֹן הַקֹּדֶשׁ בְּרוּחַ הַקֹּדֶשׁ הוּא מְדַבֵּר.

Rabbi Simon said: We have found that [people] went to a house of feasting and their names were not specified, [and people went] to a house of mourning and their names were specified. Og went to Abraham’s feast and his name was not specified. Job’s three comrades went to the house of mourning and their names were specified. We have found that [people] went to a house of feasting and they were not spared from Gehenna, and [people] went to a house of mourning and they were spared from Gehenna. Og was at Abraham’s feast and he was not spared from Gehenna. Those who went to the house of mourning were spared from Gehenna. Rabbi Yissakhar of Kefar Mandi said: It is the way of the wicked to be consigned to the lowest level of Gehenna, as it is stated: “He strikes them in the place of the wicked” (Job 34:26). Job’s three comrades went to the house of mourning and they were spared from Gehenna, as it is written: “Each man came from his place” (Job 2:11). Each from his home, each from his city, each from his land, is not written here, but rather, “each from his place” – from the place that was established for them in Gehenna. They were spared and rescued from it. We have found that [people] went to a house of feasting and the Divine Spirit did not rest upon them; this is Og. Job’s three comrades went to a house of mourning and the Divine Spirit rested upon them. That is what is written: “Elifaz answered” (Job 4:1), “Bildad answered” (Job 8:1). It is taught in the name of Rabbi Meir: Any place where answering [aniya], saying [amira], and so [ko, kakha] are stated, these statements were made in the sacred tongue and with [the inspiration of] the Divine Spirit.

וְהַחַי יִתֵּן אֶל לִבּוֹ, מַה תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר, עֲבֵיד חִסְדָּא, דְּיַעַבְדוּן לָךְ. לַוֵּוי, דִּילַוּוּנָיךְ. סְפוֹד, דְּיִסְפְּדוּנָךְ. קְבוֹר, דְּיִקְבְּרוּנָךְ. גְּמוֹל חֶסֶד, דְּתִתְגַּמֵּל חֶסֶד. אָמַר רַבִּי מָנָא, וְהַחַי יִתֵּן אֶל לִבּוֹ, אֵלּוּ הַצַּדִּיקִים שֶׁנּוֹתְנִין מִיתָתָן כְּנֶגֶד לִבָּן, וְלָמָּה כּוֹתְשִׁין עַל הַלֵּב, מֵימַר דְּכֹלָּה תַּמָּן. דָּבָר אַחֵר, וְהַחַי יִתֵּן אֶל לִבּוֹ, זֶה חֵי הָעוֹלָמִים שֶׁהוּא מְשַׁלֵּם שָׂכָר לְבַר נָשׁ עַל כָּל פְּסִיעָה וּפְסִיעָה בִּגְמִילוּת חֲסָדִים. דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹנָה אֵין שׁוֹאֲלִין הֲלָכוֹת לִפְנֵי מִטָּתוֹ שֶׁל מֵת, וְהָא רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן שָׁאַל לְרַבִּי יַנַּאי קוֹמֵיהּ עַרְסֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יְהוֹצָדָק הִקְדִּישׁ עוֹלָתוֹ לְבֶדֶק הַבַּיִת מַהוּ מוֹעֲלִים בָּהּ. וּמְגִיב לֵיהּ מִשֶּׁהַכֹּהֲנִים מְעַכְּבִין בִּשְׁחִיטָתָהּ מָעַל, נֶאֱמַר כַּד הֲוָה רָחִיק הֲוָה מְגִיב לֵיהּ. תָּנֵי הַכַּתָּפִין אֲסוּרִים בִּנְעִילַת הַסַּנְדָּל, שֶׁמָּא יִפָּסֵק סַנְדָּלוֹ שֶׁל אֶחָד מֵהֶם וְנִמְצָא מִתְעַכֵּב מִן הַמִּצְוָה. רַבִּי זְעֵירָא שְׁרַע בְּדִיבּוּרָא, אָזְלוּן מוֹזְקוֹפוּנֵיהּ וְאַשְׁכְּחוּנֵיהּ אִיעַנֵּי בְּדִבּוּרָא, אָמְרִין לֵיהּ מַהוּ כֵן, אֲמַר לוֹן עָלְמָא דְּאָתֵינַן מִן לְתַמָּן, הָא מַה דְּאִתְּמָר: וְהַחַי יִתֵּן אֶל לִבּוֹ.

Why does the verse state: “And the living will take it to heart”? Perform an act of kindness so they will perform it for you: Accompany [the dead] so they will accompany you; eulogize, so they will eulogize you; bury, so they will bury you; perform kindness, so kindness will be performed for you. Rabbi Mana said: “And the living will take it to heart” – these are the righteous who position their death opposite their heart. Why do they pound their hearts? It is to say that everything is there. Another matter, “and the living will take it to heart” – this is He who lives eternally, who rewards a person for each and every step [he takes] in performing acts of kindness, as Rabbi Yona said: One may not inquire regarding halakhot before the bier of a dead person. But did Rabbi Yoḥanan not ask Rabbi Yannai before the bier of Rabbi Shimon ben Yehotzadak: ‘If one consecrated his burnt offering for Temple maintenance, is one liable in its regard for misuse of consecrated property?’ He answered him: ‘Since the priests can delay the slaughter, he is liable for misuse.’ It is said that [Rabbi Yannai] answered him when he was at a distance [of more than four cubits from the bier]. It is taught: It is prohibited for the pallbearers to wear shoes, due to the concern that the shoe of one of them will rip and he will be delayed in performance of the mitzva. Rabbi Zeira fell to the ground while speaking. They came to stand him up, and they found that he was afflicted in his speaking. They said to him: ‘Why did this [occur]?’ He said to them: ‘[I began to contemplate] the world to which we are going [after death].’ That is what is written: “And the living will take it to heart.”